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Stop The Junk Emails! • To read this page OFFLINE: (In your browser, in its formatted style...) Save As or export as "source" format. Then "open file" within your browser software offline. • To PRINT this page from your browser: We recommend an 80% reduction to easily fit standard 8.5 x 11" page width. Ok, ok. You are like me and you tire of receiving the same old stupid email jokes choking up your mailbox. You are tired of lame hoaxes that well-meaning friends and family send you. You are up-to-your-eyeballs-sick of unsolicited file attachments. But, how do you nicely request that that person cease and desist? Here's a fill-in-the-blank letter you can send as a reply to your next garbage message... Dear Well-Meaning... __ friend __ family member __ coworker __ other: (specify) While I appreciate you thinking of me, I must tell you that the... __ messages __ jokes __ file attachments __ other: (specify) ... that you send me have begun to take up too much of my... __ time __ disk space __ time used to earn a living to support my family __ download bandwidth __ other: (specify) I know you only have my best interests at heart and do not mean to interfere with my... __ business schedule __ free time __ home-based wage-earning business __ sanity __ other: (specify) But, I feel I must ask you to refrain from sending me these items. I do not request this out of spite or anger. I ask only that you please be considerate of my... __ business schedule __ free time __ home-based wage-earning business __ sanity __ other: (specify) You need to understand that while you are new to the Internet and the Web, I am a seasoned user who has already seen most of the "gee whiz" and funny useless information and programs available. It may be new to you, but it is old to me. Please... __ limit __ cease and desist ...your sending of these things to me. In fact, it is considered to be improper or bad netiquette (Network Etiquette) to send such... __ constant messages __ forwarded jokes __ unsolicited file attachments __ other: (specify) ...and can usually result in a nasty reply from some recipient who will not put this nearly as nicely as I am trying in this message. Be sure to visit http://www.kassj.comnetiquette/netiquette.html for a complete list of email rules and an excellent guideline for screening hoaxes. This site also will teach you why AOL users should not use the FORWARD command in AOL email. A nice basic list of Emoticons (Smilies) and Shorthand Abbreviations also resides at this web site. While I understand you wishing to share funny or thoughtful items, I would appreciate it if could stop sending them to me. Thank you for understanding my concern. Your flattered... __ friend __ family member __ coworker __ other: (specify)   More Email Netiquette and Novice Information: [ Email Netiquette ] [ CyberMyths Debunked ] [ Don't use AOL's "Forward" Command ] [ Emoticons (Smilies) & Shorthand (Abbreviations) ] [ Stop The Junk Email! ] [ Programmer's Paradise Glossary ] © Copyright 1996-2001 by Kass Johns, all rights reserved world wide. The opinions and recommendations stated here are solely those of the author and are not the responsibility of anyone else. This is an independent publication not affiliated or otherwise associated with, sponsored by, or sanctioned by any vendor. We state here that we have used trademark names in this publication for editorial purposes only, with no intent to infringe on those trademarks. Permission is granted to copy this document for personal use only for *non-commercial* purposes, in electronic or printed form, provided that this copyright notice is not removed. This work may not be used on another Web site or online service, sold for profit, included within commercial works, or altered or changed in any way without the express written permission of the author. My permission: If any of these sentences or phrases help you to stop the junk mail, please use them with my blessing. Let's stop the madness! Stamp out Electronic Crap!